The honeymoon is over...

Matt here. This morning we had our first doctor's appointment with Peter.   This pediatrician specializes as a consultant in international adoption and she is the same doctor who reviewed Peter's file when it was first referred to us by our adoption agency.  She is very knowledgeable and has adopted three of her own children from Russia, so she's well-versed in medical issues related to adoption.

They measured Peter's height and weight and he's just barely on a growth chart for American children in the 3rd percentile. But on a chart for Chinese boys, he's solidly average, which is great news.  The doctor also conducted a brief physical exam and did not note any major issues of concern. 

Next, we will go in Friday to have Peter's blood drawn.  They will conduct thirteen separate blood tests and a stool test (we will flip a coin to see who gets to collect that sample).  The doctor will use these tests to determine which additional vaccinations he needs and to get a better look at Peter's overall health. While in China, we received records of Peter's vaccinations, but it's still good to check for the antibodies.  In two weeks, we'll go back for a more comprehensive physical exam and to review the results of the tests.  

In reality, today's doctor visit was just the start of what will likely be a long road that includes OT, PT, SLP, and possibly a neurologist.  But we are encouraged that Peter appears to be quite healthy.    

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the honeymoon is definitely over.  Noah, by virtually any measure, has been a great big brother since we got home.  But the reality of sharing toys, as well as mommy and daddy, is sinking in.  Please pray that we would know how to manage this transition and that Noah would understand that while our attention may be divided, our love for him is not, nor will it ever be.  

--Matt

Memorial Day Weekend

Let me start out by saying that our happiness was tempered this weekend by sorrow and mourning for a dear family in our church who lost both of their young children in a car crash when a truck failed to stop at a light. Please keep this family in your prayers. May God comfort them, heal them, and give them peace that passes all understanding, as only He can.

With that, here are some photos of Peter getting to know his family and his new city this weekend. It has been beautiful to see how much Noah loves and cares for his little brother. It was also wonderful to spend time with Matt's parents and see Peter becoming comfortable with them, as well.

Brothers

Noah and Peter's first day together could not have gone better! I (Allie) surprised Noah by picking him up from school this afternoon. He was so sweet, lovey, affectionate - and we talked non-stop the whole ride home. I missed him, and our constant chatter, so much. Matt was home with Peter, and Noah was eager to see Daddy and meet his new brother. Once we were home and all hanging out in the playroom, Noah said, "Now I have a new friend living in my house. Right Mommy?" Noah has been such a great big brother - showing Peter all his toys, hugging him and looking out for him. I'm so proud of my big boy!

Here are six photos of our boys' first day together:

Opening Noah's presents during an afternoon snack

Noah giving Peter a monkey that Honey & Ozzie helped him pick out

Peter's new room

Story time

Noah showing Peter a shark

Our Trip Home

We arrived home safely last night after 28 hours of travel door-to-door. We made it through Chinese immigration without incident. An interesting thing that happened is that Peter showed me (Allie) that he definitely knows I'm his, he's mine, and he doesn't want that to change -- I carried him through security, but when it was time for me to be screened with the wand, the security guard had to briefly lift Peter from my arms. He was never more than a few inches away from me or out of my sight, but he cried about not being in my arms, locked eyes with me, and had his arms and legs outstretched toward me the entire time, which did not last more than a few seconds, but clearly upset him and shows that he is clearly attaching to me.

Our first flight was from Guangzhou to Tokyo. Peter was cranky during this leg of the trip, but that was not at all indicative of the rest of our travels. He was an absolute champ the rest of the journey. Here is a picture of him "ready for take-off." 

As the photos progress, you'll notice that Peter did not end the trip in the same clothing that he began it. There were highs and lows in the Tokyo airport. We started out with the low, which is Peter's very messy and stinky reason that those clothes got tossed into the bathroom garbage bin. We promptly followed with the high, which was the best, freshest sushi I've ever had and Matt's meal called tan tan men, which is a ramen dish Matt loved to eat when he lived in Japan, but had not had in 11 years since he moved from there in 2004. The sushi restaurant had a sign that read, "This is your last chance to eat good sushi before you go." The sushi did not disappoint!

Next was our 11 hour flight from Tokyo to Chicago. Peter slept for more than half of it and happily played by ripping up paper for the remainder. While it was a very long flight for Matt and I because we were not able to fall asleep on this leg, it felt downright short compared to the 15 hours we spent on the plane during one of our legs going to China. In Chicago, we processed Peter's paperwork at immigration and Peter became an American citizen!

Our next flight brought us home to Charlotte where some dear friends and family met us at the airport. What a blessing to see them all welcoming Peter home!

Noah spent one last night at Camp Honey & Ozzie last night to give us a chance to sleep and settle in with Peter.  We're excited to get him from school today and unite our family.

We will continue to blog our journey now that we are home, albeit with less frequency. Thank you to everyone who followed our trip with such amazing interest, prayers and support!

Farewell China

We received Peter's visa this afternoon, so our business here is complete! We leave the hotel at 6 a.m. tomorrow - that begins our 27 hours of travel until we touch down in Charlotte. Please pray for safe travels, that we arrive home on time, and that Peter tolerates the long flights well. Thank you to all of you who have been following our journey and praying for us along the way. While our China adventure is almost over, we will soon begin the adventure of getting our family of four settled at home. 

This morning we returned to Shamian Island and stayed until the rain came. Here are a couple photos of us walking the garden paths and one of a quaint shopping street:

Our day ended with dinner that we enjoyed with a lovely couple from OH and their daughter. We have so enjoyed spending time with them and getting to know them over the past week. 

Our smiley, laughing Peter continues show us his vibrant personality. His eating has become more advanced in that he can now pick up a small sandwich or steamed bun and take bites out of it instead of it having to be broken up into little peaces for him. He has also come to accept holding my hand without any protest while walking on hard surfaces or in public. He is also showing more interest in play and can imitate how I play with a toy. It has been a joy for me to watch him grow.

More later after we get home and get settled in, 

Allie

Eyes Wide Open

Matt here, with a post that has been germinating in my mind for several days now.  One of the consistent themes of the past week has been the special needs of the children being adopted and the sometimes underreported nature and severity of the needs.  It seems that for some families with whom we've come in contact, their child's special needs were greater than had been expected prior to Gotcha Day.  And this isn't the fault of the adoption agencies--all they can do is forward the information that they have received from the orphanages.  

There are several possible reasons for this:  lack of adequate medical care and diagnoses, lack of reporting by the orphanage, the effects of institutionalization in masking special needs other than those that have been reported and, perhaps, the expectations and hopes of adoptive parents.  In some cases the children are malnourished and severely underweight. They may have untreated infections, including one sweet little child who had three different infections, all treatable with antibiotics, on Gotcha Day.  

There are of course some exceptions.  There are orphanages with comparatively excellent care, including Peter's.  But those seem to be the exception and not the rule.  We feel very blessed with Peter's health. Other than a little chest congestion that quickly cleared up and some skin irritation, he appears to be free of illness and no one will ever accuse him of being underweight, not with his voracious appetite. 

It is easy to say that we should hope for the best but prepare for the worst, but another thing entirely to put that into practice.  In retrospect, no amount of reading, researching and networking with other adoptive families could have fully prepared us for the emotional roller coaster we rode last week.  

That said, one great resource for us has been the book Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best, recommended by our adoption agency.  Toddler adoption is so different than adopting an infant and this book does an excellent job laying out potential scenarios and behaviors adoptive parents may encounter.  Many of the issues we encountered with Peter during our first week together had been addressed at length in the book and, once we were clear of the fog of war, we were able to draw on some of what we learned in the book.  If you or someone you know is considering adopting a toddler, I cannot recommend this book enough.  

Why am I writing this?  Am I trying to discourage you from adopting internationally?  Absolutely not!  If anything, this experience has underscored the desperate need for adoptive families.  Rather, I want to ensure that families approach international adoption with their eyes wide open, ready for the possibility that their adopted child may have needs greater than anticipated and ready to meet and care for their child's needs by any and every means possible.  It is also important to remember that these children are not their special needs. Rather, they are children with needs, like any other child, the greatest of which is to be loved.  

Consulate Day

This morning, we had our appointment at the U.S. Consulate to obtain Peter's visa. It was all very simple, actually. One individual collected all of our required documents. Then we had a short oath-taking ceremony with all of the adoptive famiies present, promising that all the information we provided was truthful and accurate. Finally, another individual asked us a couple questions to make sure we're aware of Peter's special needs. We were given a few documents for our records and that was that. The entire evolution only took about two hours. 

This afternoon we went to the pool. The last two times we went, Peter fell asleep on me (Allie) while in the water! Here he is napping poolside on a comfy chair under the shade of an umbrella. That's the life! Something about the pool relaxes him!

Here is a picture of Peter all wrapped up in his towel post bath:

As is the custom toward the conclusion of every adoption trip, our agency guides took group photos of us. Here is a shot of the five famiies with our agency we were with in Guangzhou this week:

Today was a gentle reminder that while there will be many days celebrating Peter's progress, there will also be days that are hard work for both him and us as we work together to overcome challenges that may be due to mild CP, may be the result of institutionalization, or may be unrelated to either. 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~ Romans 15:13