The honeymoon is over...

Matt here. This morning we had our first doctor's appointment with Peter.   This pediatrician specializes as a consultant in international adoption and she is the same doctor who reviewed Peter's file when it was first referred to us by our adoption agency.  She is very knowledgeable and has adopted three of her own children from Russia, so she's well-versed in medical issues related to adoption.

They measured Peter's height and weight and he's just barely on a growth chart for American children in the 3rd percentile. But on a chart for Chinese boys, he's solidly average, which is great news.  The doctor also conducted a brief physical exam and did not note any major issues of concern. 

Next, we will go in Friday to have Peter's blood drawn.  They will conduct thirteen separate blood tests and a stool test (we will flip a coin to see who gets to collect that sample).  The doctor will use these tests to determine which additional vaccinations he needs and to get a better look at Peter's overall health. While in China, we received records of Peter's vaccinations, but it's still good to check for the antibodies.  In two weeks, we'll go back for a more comprehensive physical exam and to review the results of the tests.  

In reality, today's doctor visit was just the start of what will likely be a long road that includes OT, PT, SLP, and possibly a neurologist.  But we are encouraged that Peter appears to be quite healthy.    

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the honeymoon is definitely over.  Noah, by virtually any measure, has been a great big brother since we got home.  But the reality of sharing toys, as well as mommy and daddy, is sinking in.  Please pray that we would know how to manage this transition and that Noah would understand that while our attention may be divided, our love for him is not, nor will it ever be.  

--Matt

Memorial Day Weekend

Let me start out by saying that our happiness was tempered this weekend by sorrow and mourning for a dear family in our church who lost both of their young children in a car crash when a truck failed to stop at a light. Please keep this family in your prayers. May God comfort them, heal them, and give them peace that passes all understanding, as only He can.

With that, here are some photos of Peter getting to know his family and his new city this weekend. It has been beautiful to see how much Noah loves and cares for his little brother. It was also wonderful to spend time with Matt's parents and see Peter becoming comfortable with them, as well.

Brothers

Noah and Peter's first day together could not have gone better! I (Allie) surprised Noah by picking him up from school this afternoon. He was so sweet, lovey, affectionate - and we talked non-stop the whole ride home. I missed him, and our constant chatter, so much. Matt was home with Peter, and Noah was eager to see Daddy and meet his new brother. Once we were home and all hanging out in the playroom, Noah said, "Now I have a new friend living in my house. Right Mommy?" Noah has been such a great big brother - showing Peter all his toys, hugging him and looking out for him. I'm so proud of my big boy!

Here are six photos of our boys' first day together:

Opening Noah's presents during an afternoon snack

Noah giving Peter a monkey that Honey & Ozzie helped him pick out

Peter's new room

Story time

Noah showing Peter a shark

Our Trip Home

We arrived home safely last night after 28 hours of travel door-to-door. We made it through Chinese immigration without incident. An interesting thing that happened is that Peter showed me (Allie) that he definitely knows I'm his, he's mine, and he doesn't want that to change -- I carried him through security, but when it was time for me to be screened with the wand, the security guard had to briefly lift Peter from my arms. He was never more than a few inches away from me or out of my sight, but he cried about not being in my arms, locked eyes with me, and had his arms and legs outstretched toward me the entire time, which did not last more than a few seconds, but clearly upset him and shows that he is clearly attaching to me.

Our first flight was from Guangzhou to Tokyo. Peter was cranky during this leg of the trip, but that was not at all indicative of the rest of our travels. He was an absolute champ the rest of the journey. Here is a picture of him "ready for take-off." 

As the photos progress, you'll notice that Peter did not end the trip in the same clothing that he began it. There were highs and lows in the Tokyo airport. We started out with the low, which is Peter's very messy and stinky reason that those clothes got tossed into the bathroom garbage bin. We promptly followed with the high, which was the best, freshest sushi I've ever had and Matt's meal called tan tan men, which is a ramen dish Matt loved to eat when he lived in Japan, but had not had in 11 years since he moved from there in 2004. The sushi restaurant had a sign that read, "This is your last chance to eat good sushi before you go." The sushi did not disappoint!

Next was our 11 hour flight from Tokyo to Chicago. Peter slept for more than half of it and happily played by ripping up paper for the remainder. While it was a very long flight for Matt and I because we were not able to fall asleep on this leg, it felt downright short compared to the 15 hours we spent on the plane during one of our legs going to China. In Chicago, we processed Peter's paperwork at immigration and Peter became an American citizen!

Our next flight brought us home to Charlotte where some dear friends and family met us at the airport. What a blessing to see them all welcoming Peter home!

Noah spent one last night at Camp Honey & Ozzie last night to give us a chance to sleep and settle in with Peter.  We're excited to get him from school today and unite our family.

We will continue to blog our journey now that we are home, albeit with less frequency. Thank you to everyone who followed our trip with such amazing interest, prayers and support!

Farewell China

We received Peter's visa this afternoon, so our business here is complete! We leave the hotel at 6 a.m. tomorrow - that begins our 27 hours of travel until we touch down in Charlotte. Please pray for safe travels, that we arrive home on time, and that Peter tolerates the long flights well. Thank you to all of you who have been following our journey and praying for us along the way. While our China adventure is almost over, we will soon begin the adventure of getting our family of four settled at home. 

This morning we returned to Shamian Island and stayed until the rain came. Here are a couple photos of us walking the garden paths and one of a quaint shopping street:

Our day ended with dinner that we enjoyed with a lovely couple from OH and their daughter. We have so enjoyed spending time with them and getting to know them over the past week. 

Our smiley, laughing Peter continues show us his vibrant personality. His eating has become more advanced in that he can now pick up a small sandwich or steamed bun and take bites out of it instead of it having to be broken up into little peaces for him. He has also come to accept holding my hand without any protest while walking on hard surfaces or in public. He is also showing more interest in play and can imitate how I play with a toy. It has been a joy for me to watch him grow.

More later after we get home and get settled in, 

Allie

Eyes Wide Open

Matt here, with a post that has been germinating in my mind for several days now.  One of the consistent themes of the past week has been the special needs of the children being adopted and the sometimes underreported nature and severity of the needs.  It seems that for some families with whom we've come in contact, their child's special needs were greater than had been expected prior to Gotcha Day.  And this isn't the fault of the adoption agencies--all they can do is forward the information that they have received from the orphanages.  

There are several possible reasons for this:  lack of adequate medical care and diagnoses, lack of reporting by the orphanage, the effects of institutionalization in masking special needs other than those that have been reported and, perhaps, the expectations and hopes of adoptive parents.  In some cases the children are malnourished and severely underweight. They may have untreated infections, including one sweet little child who had three different infections, all treatable with antibiotics, on Gotcha Day.  

There are of course some exceptions.  There are orphanages with comparatively excellent care, including Peter's.  But those seem to be the exception and not the rule.  We feel very blessed with Peter's health. Other than a little chest congestion that quickly cleared up and some skin irritation, he appears to be free of illness and no one will ever accuse him of being underweight, not with his voracious appetite. 

It is easy to say that we should hope for the best but prepare for the worst, but another thing entirely to put that into practice.  In retrospect, no amount of reading, researching and networking with other adoptive families could have fully prepared us for the emotional roller coaster we rode last week.  

That said, one great resource for us has been the book Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best, recommended by our adoption agency.  Toddler adoption is so different than adopting an infant and this book does an excellent job laying out potential scenarios and behaviors adoptive parents may encounter.  Many of the issues we encountered with Peter during our first week together had been addressed at length in the book and, once we were clear of the fog of war, we were able to draw on some of what we learned in the book.  If you or someone you know is considering adopting a toddler, I cannot recommend this book enough.  

Why am I writing this?  Am I trying to discourage you from adopting internationally?  Absolutely not!  If anything, this experience has underscored the desperate need for adoptive families.  Rather, I want to ensure that families approach international adoption with their eyes wide open, ready for the possibility that their adopted child may have needs greater than anticipated and ready to meet and care for their child's needs by any and every means possible.  It is also important to remember that these children are not their special needs. Rather, they are children with needs, like any other child, the greatest of which is to be loved.  

Consulate Day

This morning, we had our appointment at the U.S. Consulate to obtain Peter's visa. It was all very simple, actually. One individual collected all of our required documents. Then we had a short oath-taking ceremony with all of the adoptive famiies present, promising that all the information we provided was truthful and accurate. Finally, another individual asked us a couple questions to make sure we're aware of Peter's special needs. We were given a few documents for our records and that was that. The entire evolution only took about two hours. 

This afternoon we went to the pool. The last two times we went, Peter fell asleep on me (Allie) while in the water! Here he is napping poolside on a comfy chair under the shade of an umbrella. That's the life! Something about the pool relaxes him!

Here is a picture of Peter all wrapped up in his towel post bath:

As is the custom toward the conclusion of every adoption trip, our agency guides took group photos of us. Here is a shot of the five famiies with our agency we were with in Guangzhou this week:

Today was a gentle reminder that while there will be many days celebrating Peter's progress, there will also be days that are hard work for both him and us as we work together to overcome challenges that may be due to mild CP, may be the result of institutionalization, or may be unrelated to either. 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~ Romans 15:13

Shamian Island

Today was a free day as we wait for tomorrow's Consulate appointment. So, we took a 15 minute cab ride to Shamian Island this morning to shop and walk around with another family who is in our group here. They are so nice and it is great to have camaraderie with another adoptive family.

Here are some photos from our day:

There was a row of exercise equipment along this greenway and whenever Matt would do one of the exercises Peter would laugh and laugh at his Daddy:

For dinner, the three of us walked to a noodle place near our hotel that we actually went to for dinner last night, too, because the food is so delicious and so affordable. Last night's dinner cost us a little less than $4 and tonight's dinner was $5. Seriously! Here is a picture of my noodle bowl from tonight (the photo is hazy because the steam from the broth fogged up the camera lens):

 

And here is a photo of cuddly little Peter in his pajamas. Good night!

A Few of My Favorite Things

It has been such a joy getting to know Peter these past few days. He definitely has personality and he is letting his light shine. He makes me (Allie) laugh out loud with some of the adorable, funny and expressive things he does.  

My favorite thing he does right now is walk around our hotel room as fast as he can, picking up anything in his reach and examining it before dropping it on the floor. He rampages, but in a very curious, happy and innocent way. He is so inquisitive right now and his explorations crack me up. 

Another of my favorite things is the way his face lights up when he smiles and how unrestrained his audible laughter is. Two things guaranteed to make him laugh are 1) playing with the water that comes out of the faucet in the bathtub and 2) riding down escalators. He gets so happy you'd think he's on an amusement park ride. It makes me so happy to see him experiencing happiness.

Of course, yet another of my favorite things is when he snuggles in on me and falls asleep. He nuzzles his head into my neck and I can tell he feels safe and comfortable. 

There are a lot of unknowns when it comes to adopting, but one thing I'm sure of is that I'm blessed to be Peter's mommy.

Here is a picture of Matt and Peter that I took at the jade and pearl market we visited today. Matt is such a great father. I am so thankful to my in-laws for raising him to be the man he is and so thankful to God for making him my husband. I'm looking forward to the end of the week when we return home, our two sons will finally meet in person, and our whole family of four will be together. 

Like church in Heaven...

...that's how our friend described the "passport church" that meets at the Hilton Guangzhou Tianhe.  And he was right.  With a Scottish pastor (and his Spanish speaking wife and children), African worship leaders, Indian guitar players and Aussie service leaders, the Guangzhou International Christian Fellowship was a look ahead to what it will be like to worship together in Heaven, without regard to ethnicity or nationality.  

The Chinese government has issued the church a license to meet, which must be renewed annually. The only condition the government places on the church is that it is only open to foreign passport holders--no local Chinese are permitted to attend--hence the term "passport church."

This is no fly-by-night or underground operation.  The church has elders, deacons, a children's ministry....everything you might see in an established church.   And while you might think this is a transient crowd, full of tourists like us, only a handful of people in the packed ballroom of at least 300 stood with us when first-time visitors were asked to do so.  The church's members include expats from all over the world and a large number of ethnic Chinese who were raised in other countries but moved to Guangzhou to work due to their ability to speak English and Cantonese or Mandarin.  We met accountants, teachers and even a nice couple with ties to Monroe and Waxhaw!

The contemporary praise and worship music was familiar and powerful.  The sermon on Acts 5:12-42 was timely and relevant to any culture and the pastor unabashedly preached the Gospel.  Not only did we love it, but Peter did too. He absolutely came alive during the service, laughing, smiling and cooing.  Allie told me she thinks Peter felt the joy of the Holy Spirit.  It was such a blessing to share this service with him--his first ever time at church. 

Without a doubt, this was one of the highlights of the trip. If ever you find yourself in Guangzhou, please make your way to the Hilton for one of the best and most memorable church services you will ever experience.

 -Matt

Visa Medical Exam Day

This morning we went with three other families who are adopting through the same agency to get Peter his visa medical exam. Step one was to get his photo taken. Easy peasy. Step two was the actual medical exam that was made up of four parts. 

First, Peter had his general exam. They checked for any communicable diseases that would cause the American CDC to prevent our entry into the U.S. He has none, of course. Peter hated the exam and was very upset by it. However, he got over it much more quickly than I (Allie) did ;-)

We then progressed to the next station where he had his temperature, height and weight measured. Next was a quick ear, nose and throat exam. Finally he had his TB test. This was the only room I was not allowed to go into with him. Needless to say, that did not make him happy at all, but he quickly calmed down in my arms once the nurse brought him back out. 

There were approximately 30 families at the medical exam office today. One of the many things we noticed from talking with fellow adoptive parents is that we are in the clear minority among adoptive families in that this is our first adoption. We met several famiies who are on their second, third, fourth or even fifth adoption, and two families who are adopting two children this time around. This is not to say that we are already looking ahead, but it is clear that for many families this is not a one-time thing. It is very interesting to talk with these families and learn from their experiences. 

Peter slowly continues to come to come out of his shell. We have found that he gets very excited about food, escalators and being out and about exploring. It is wonderful to finally hear him laugh. 

Here is a picture from breakfast this morning:

Travel Day

This morning we bid farewell to Jinan and flew to Guangzhou where Peter will have a medical screening and we have our appointment at the US Consulate to obtain his visa.  We were originally scheduled to fly out of Jinan at 7 p.m. today. Our agency schedules such late departures from the child's home province to Guangzhou to leave time to correct any paperwork issues that may arise.  Thankfully, Charlie from the orphanage applied for Peter's visa a week early, and our guide John was on top of everything.  This allowed us to change our flight to a 12:30 departure for a suprisingly low change fee.  Had we stayed with the later departure we would not have gotten to our hotel until after midnight and would have had to kill an entire day in Jinan. But now (7:30 p.m.) we're here and Peter is already asleep in his pack and play.  We are so grateful to John and Charlie for doing the legwork necessary to make sure everything was done on time and correctly.

So off the airport we went for Peter's first airplane ride. Our flight was delayed a bit and he got fussy while we waited, mostly due to being tired, but once we were on the plane he was a champ and played with whatever he could get his hands on until takeoff. When the plane took off he got scared and immediately crawled into Allie's arms where he promptly fell asleep and slept for more than half of the three hour flight. It was so sweet and encouraging to see him seek her out when he was scared and to see the early signs of attachment.

As for Guangzhou, HOLY HUMIDITY BATMAN!  This place is hot and humid and humid and hot.  We look forward to exploring the area after the medical appointment tomorrow although we miss the comforts of the Crowne Plaza in Jinan. The China Hotel Marriot is nice, but it's not the same as the Crowne Plaza.

We continue to covet your prayers for sleep. Peter slept better last night but was still restless. I (Matt) slept okay but Allie had another bad night.  To complicate matters we have both lost our voices and she is battling a head cold. Please continue to pray for good, sound sleep for all of us and good health.

Farewell Jinan

Today was our last full day in Jinan and tomorrow is our travel day to Guangzhou where the U.S. Consulate is located. We received Peter's Chinese passport this morning, so we are good to go! A special thanks to Charlie, from the orphanage, and John, our very helpful guide, for all their great work this week.

Tomorrow, we will be half-way through our stay in China. At this point, all three of us are exhausted due to lack of sleep. Matt and I are mentally and emotionally spent today, and we've both come down with colds. Everything is more challenging and difficult, emotions are on rollercoasters, and discouragement is so much more prevalent when tired. So, please pray for a full night's sleep for all three of us.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your ways straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

The Food Post

It has been said that an army travels on its stomach, and that is certainly true for this group.  Some people eat to live, treating food as fuel.  But our family lives to eat.  Given a choice between a museum or a memorable meal, I (Matt) will always choose the meal.  And ever since I Iived in Japan, I have had a particular affinity for Asian food. 

Hotel food is seldom noted for its excellence, but that can not be said for the breakfast buffet at our hotel.  Included with the cost of our room, this buffet combines traditional western favorites like eggs, bacon and pastries with savory dishes from China.  

Peter especially loves all of the fresh fruit, including the dragon fruit (white with black seeds). I love all of the juices, especially the fresh watermelon juice.

The buffet also has some favorites from Japan, including cold soba noodles, sushi and miso soup.

Without a doubt my favorite item on the buffet is the salted duck eggs. I've never had a hardboiled egg quite like these with a texture that is almost creamy.

There is also an array of gyoza and dumplings, in addition to sausage and bacon (of course). 

Congee is a traditional breakfast porridge that is eaten by many Chinese every day.  I've yet to try it but will do so tomorrow when we have our last breakfast before leaving for Guangzhou.  

They also serve a variety of steamed buns, stuffed with barbecue pork and other fillings, in addition to traditional steamed dumplings.  

There is also an array of hot dishes that changes every day, including a variety of stir fried vegetables, tofu and noodles.  

But without a doubt, the star of the show and Allie's favorite is the noodle station.  There you select greens and dumplings and the chef boils them with handmade noodles and then adds a savory broth. You can then select from a wide variety of toppings including chili oil, chili sauce, szechuan pickles, and garlic, among many others.  The resulting creation is as good as the best ramen I ever had in Japan.

We also went back for dinner last night and I had the best duck ever. Roasted to perfection with crispy skin, it was served with mooshu style pancakes, sliced vegetables and a salty bean paste that was perfect.  Allie had grilled squid on a stick that she said was excellent.  We can only hope that the China Hotel in Guangzhou has anything half as good!